His Loving Guidance Read online

  “What?”

  “You won’t keep apologizing for the things in our past.”

  “I – I’ll try. But it’s hard. I feel so –”

  “Guilty?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you forgiven me for all the shit I put you through?”

  “Yes, of course I have,” she answered immediately. She did not have to think twice. She held no resentment in her heart toward him. Not anymore.

  “Do you believe me when I tell you I’ve forgiven you?”

  She glanced at her feet, knowing where he was going with this. “Yes, I believe you. And I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me I need to forgive myself.” She could not restrain a grin. “Blah blah blah, psychobabble blah blah.”

  James chuckled. “You took the words right out of my mouth. Except for the blah blah psychobabble part.”

  Lucy marveled at how free she suddenly felt, standing on the side of a winding mountain road surrounded by a tall, dense forest, as a light breeze stirred through the grass and ruffled her hair. James did not hate her for having thoughts about divorce. He understood. He still loved her. Now that she had spilled her guts, the toxic buildup of secrets that had been sickening her fled from her body, blowing away in the breeze. She felt cleansed. Amazing. Her eyes widened as the realization sank in, and she wrapped her arms around James, nearly knocking him over with the impact of her embrace.

  *

  The valley below stretched over hills of farmland, a sparkling lake, and the occasional band of trees beneath a brilliant blue sky. James stood at the huge window in the living room of the cabin, soaking up the breathtaking view. His attentions did not remain on the view outside for long though. The view inside was much better. Glancing to the kitchen, his chest tightened with emotion at the sight of a scantily dressed Lucy humming while she prepared their lunch. A snug, thin white tank top hugged her breasts. Braless, her nipples poked through the material, hinting at what lay underneath. Pink, high-cut panties covered her bottom, exposing a hint of her rosy cheeks, lingering evidence from the playful swats he had given her as they were getting out of the hot tub earlier.

  He loved to see her happy. The drive up the mountain four days ago had been a turning point in their relationship. He had no idea Lucy had once considered divorce, but looking back, he was not surprised. Not at all. He swore to do everything in his power to ensure she never felt that way again. The next two plus weeks would be spent demonstrating his love and commitment to her. While the rest of the summer would be tricky with Lucy’s sister in the house, Wendy was searching for a job and leaving for college in August anyway, so any potential setbacks would be temporary. Selfishly, James hoped Wendy found a waitressing job soon that would keep her busy on Friday nights so they could at least enjoy their weekly maintenance spankings without being discovered.

  “Lunch is ready.”

  Before taking his place at the table, James gave Lucy a quick kiss and squeezed her bottom. “Tomorrow is Friday already,” he reminded her.

  Her face flushed as she sat down. “I know.”

  “Are you as nervous this week as you were last week?”

  “No. I’m not nervous. Actually, I’m –” Her eyes grew large and she stopped speaking.

  “You’re what?” he prompted, on the edge of his seat.

  She concentrated on the sandwich on her plate, holding it between her hands but not taking a bite. “I guess I’m looking forward to it.”

  Her admission excited him, especially because he shared in her feelings of anticipation. “Why are you looking forward to it?”

  She waved a hand in the air dismissively. “Oh, I don’t know, James. Let’s just eat lunch. Please?”

  “Fine. But this conversation isn’t over, Lucy girl.”

  With a pout, she shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Damn. I had a feeling you’d say that.”

  “Do we need to address your attitude toward me while we’re at it, young lady? Rolling your eyes at me and cursing in the same breath isn’t very smart.” James kept his voice firm. “If I have to smack your bottom until you tell me why you’re looking forward to tomorrow night, I will.”

  Her gaze shot up to his. “That’s not fair.”

  “Oh but it is. Didn’t you promise to open up to me more?”

  “I did,” she grumbled, pouting even more. “Fine. I’ll tell you – after lunch.” Her demeanor brightened, no doubt a result of her brief reprieve.

  Lucy dragged lunch out as long as humanly possible, taking slow, tiny bites as James glared at her across the table. He eventually decided to tidy up the kitchen and gave her a two-minute warning to have her butt on the couch for their discussion. Fighting his increasing desire, he joined her in the living room. He sat beside her and lifted her chin with one finger, forcing her to meet his eyes.

  “Now you will tell me why you’re looking forward to tomorrow night. Stalling will earn you extra spanks tomorrow night.”

  Huffing, she tore her chin away. Her agitation only increased James’ arousal. She was falling back on anger, wearing it like a shield, but he had faith she was about to answer his question. Sure enough, she spoke, the words coming from a clenched jaw.

  “I’ve never enjoyed a punishment spanking, James. Not a bit. I swear they’ve never turned me on before. But the maintenance spanking did for some reason. It was … different. That’s why I’m looking forward to tomorrow night. Happy now?”

  How perfect. He had had similar feelings last Friday night. Knowing she shared them opened up a door of new possibilities. Eyebrows drawn together, she made her displeasure known with another exasperated huff, obviously impatient for his response. A grin spread across his face at her outlandish frustration. Lucy was cute when she was mad. His hardening cock agreed.

  “Come here, Lucy.” He pulled her close, chuckling at how stiff she remained in his embrace. “Sweetheart, I’m rock hard just thinking about spanking you tomorrow. I wish it was Friday right now. I loved having you over my lap. Your trust in me is one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever given me. I feel like I can’t get enough of you lately.”

  “Really?” The tension left her body. She relaxed against him, circling her arms around his waist.

  “Really.”

  She hugged him, shifting so her forehead rested on his cheek. Her eyelashes tickled his chin as she blinked, and he felt her melt against him further, as if they were becoming one. And in a way they were. The shadows of passing clouds danced through the sunlight across the hardwood floor, and he held her, not wishing to break away first. Finally, she spoke.

  “You know … I did curse at you,” she said in a conspiratorial tone.

  James sucked in a surprised breath. She wanted to play. Too stunned to reply immediately, he gave himself a mental shake and drew back to cup her face. Her eyes glimmered with mischief.

  He summoned up his most authoritative tone. “Lucy Marie Willis, you’ve been a very naughty girl.”

  Chapter Four

  A sliver of moon appeared from behind a cloud in the swallowing darkness, and in the next moment vanished behind another cloud. From the kitchen window, Lucy could not see much of the mountain during the night. A few scattered lights in the valley were it. No stars. Not much of a moon. The forecast for the next several days called for rain, but she did not mind being stuck inside with James. Since their arrival at the cabin a week and a half ago, they had gone hiking a few times and walked to a nearby general store. Other than that, they had remained indoors.

  Her bottom tingled as she recalled how they had passed the time. James had given her a few playful spankings in addition to the maintenance spanking. The sex had never been more explosive. Her pussy perpetually sore – but sated. She finished the glass of water and put the cup in the sink, anxious to rejoin James in bed. As she was passing the island, she pressed the home key on her iPhone, just to make sure she did not have any messages. Wendy had called a few times with questions about the house, so Lucy was not
surprised to see a missed call and a voicemail from her sister. It was two in the morning, so calling was out of the question. Lucy dialed her voicemail and waited, figuring Wendy was having trouble with the dishwasher again.

  The message Wendy left stunned Lucy, causing her belly to flip and her insides to tighten with sickening dread.

  “Lucy, it’s me. I need you to call me right away. I’m worried about you. I was looking for extra batteries for the living room TV remote, and I thought I’d steal some batteries from your bedroom TV remote. Anyway, I ran across some letters you wrote in your bedside table drawer. Letters about James hitting you. Please call me. I’m worried about you. I’m thinking of calling Mom to see if she knows anything about this. Maybe you trusted her enough but not me. I don’t know. Call me.”

  Hands shaking, Lucy dialed Wendy’s cell, praying to God that her whole family did not know about her unique relationship with James. Of course Wendy did not understand the letters. She likely had no clue about domestic discipline. To her, any form of hitting was abuse.

  “Dammit!” Lucy’s teeth ground together when Wendy’s phone went straight to voicemail. She got the same result when she tried the house phone.

  Oh God, oh God, oh God. Lucy threw her phone on the counter and paced the floor. What should she do? Her gaze traveled to the hallway where the bedroom was. James. Should she wake him?

  No. She tried calling both lines one more time, but there was still no answer. Tears prickled in her eyes, hot and burning. Lucy could not stand the thought of having to explain domestic discipline to her mother, let alone her sister. She had to talk to Wendy as soon as possible to do damage control. Maybe she could play it off as a spanking fetish and nothing more.

  She made her decision. After creeping through the cabin to get dressed as quickly and quietly as possible, Lucy stared at James’ sleeping form. Her heart was heavy. She did not want to wake him for this. Not for more family drama. He did not deserve that. Besides, she should have hidden the letters better. She had written the letters to him explaining her feelings about domestic discipline when they first started out, and for some unknown reason she had shoved them in a drawer after he read them.

  Her mind raced. Their home was an hour and fifteen minutes away from the cabin. She could sneak out, drive home, reason with Wendy, and make it back before James awoke. It was bad enough that Wendy was living with them for the rest of the summer, and now this. Somehow, Lucy would make things right.

  The drive home took almost two hours in the dark. Lucy was terrified of hitting a deer, and the winding roads were not familiar. Thank God for GPS, or she would have ended up lost for good. By the time she stuck the key in the front door of her house, she was a mass of nerves. James would be livid if he found out she left. It felt like a betrayal.

  “Wendy?” Lucy rushed into the foyer, up the stairs, and toward the bedrooms. “Wendy, it’s Lucy. I’m home.”

  She found her sister snoring away in the guest room. Grabbing Wendy by the shoulders, Lucy gave her a shake.

  “Huh? What?” Wendy sat up, rubbing her eyes. Confusion crossed her features when she focused on Lucy. “Oh. You must have gotten my message. Are you okay?”

  A brief wave of relief washed over Lucy. She was face-to-face with Wendy. They could talk for a few minutes, Lucy could smooth everything over, and then she could be back on her way up the mountain. A piece of cake.

  “I’m fine, Wendy. You weren’t supposed to read those letters. They were private.”

  “Private, my ass!” Wendy sat up further and ran a hand through her hair. “James hits you! That’s so fucking wrong. Why do you put up with it?”

  The contents of the letters came rushing back to Lucy. There was no way she could play it off as a spanking fetish. Detailing to your husband that you want him to spank you for discipline is not easy to play off. Especially when you spend a few paragraphs insisting that it is not sexual. Great. Fucking fantastic.

  “James and I are very much in love. I know it’s hard for you to understand what you read, but trust me when I say it’s consensual. And it was my idea in the first place. I brought domestic discipline up to James. I asked him to spank me, Wendy. It’s our relationship and we’re very happy. Just trust me when I tell you he doesn’t abuse me. It’s not even close to abuse. I swear it.”

  “Girl, are you sure you’re not brainwashed? This sounds crazy to me. And here I thought Mom was the one who likes losers.”

  “James isn’t a loser. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. You didn’t tell Mom, did you?” Her breath froze as she waited.

  “No, not yet.”

  “Not yet? You’d better not tell her at all. It’s none of her business, and I know she’d blow it out of proportion just like you.” Lucy could not hold back her annoyance with Wendy. The letters were obviously private, yet Wendy had opened them anyway.

  “How often does he hit you, Lucy?” Wendy surveyed her face, as if expecting Lucy to have bruises on her cheeks or a black eye.

  “He doesn’t beat me up. It’s nothing like that. He spanks me when I’ve screwed up. We have some rules we’ve agreed upon. If I break one of those rules, I know to expect a punishment. He only spanks me, and it’s consensual. He’s never, ever hit me anywhere but my bottom.”

  Wendy’s bewildered expression transformed to one of disgust. “I can’t believe you let him do that to you. Why on Earth would you want to live like that?”

  “It makes me happy, Wendy.” Lucy took her sister’s hand. “Please try not to judge us unfairly. It works for us. James and I have never been happier. Lots of couples do what we do. In fact, it’s probably more common than you’d think.”

  Silence settled in the room as Wendy stared at the wall, appearing deep in thought. Lucy waited and waited, praying she would see reason.

  “You’re really happy? You’re sure you aren’t just saying this because he’s making you?”

  “Wendy, I swear it. We –”

  The ringing of the house phone downstairs cut Lucy off. Her guts turned to water. Only one person would call at four in the morning.

  James.

  *

  Disbelief and anger churned within James. He felt ready to explode. Taking a few deep breaths, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You left, Lucy. You left the cabin in the middle of the night, did not bother to wake me up, and drove all the way back home. I’m not happy. I am furious with you!” The iciness of his own voice took him aback, and he swallowed hard as he tried once again to get his emotions in check. He had not been this angry with Lucy in – well, ever. The image of her navigating the wet, windy roads down the mountain in the dead of night made his blood boil. She could have had a serious accident.

  “I already told you Wendy found the letters.” Lucy glanced down at the envelopes she held in her hand, each containing three separate letters she had once meticulously folded and stored away. “You heard the message she left on my cell phone. I panicked. I was afraid she’d blab to my mother. It was bad enough that Wendy found out, but if she told Mom, I’d just die.”

  “So our relationship embarrasses you.” He could not resist the jibe, though in all honesty, he preferred to keep the details of their domestic discipline relationship private. “Wait. I didn’t mean that,” he said, reaching for Lucy’s hand. Her posture was stiff next to him on the couch, where they had sat down to have their discussion after Wendy graciously made an excuse to go to the library. The early morning sunlight streamed in the windows, promising a beautiful day.

  “This sucks, James.” Her face crumpled. “This really, really sucks.”

  “Wendy finding us out?”

  “No. Not exactly.”

  She rocked forward and back in her seat, as if the motion provided her comfort. He hated seeing her like this, tormented and on the verge of tears. His anger waned a bit, but he still felt betrayed that she had blocked him out of her life during a time when she needed him by her side. Through her pride and emba
rrassment over her family, she had denied him the right to comfort and protect her when she needed it most.

  “Lucy girl, I will never, ever think badly of you because of something your sister or mother or any other member of your family does. I’m pissed that Wendy snooped through our stuff, and I’m not happy that she’s going to be here in our house for the next few weeks, but her actions don’t reflect on you. Don’t ever, ever cut me out again. You’re my wife, Lucy. I love you. Your problems are my problems.”

  “I didn’t want to burden you.” She sniffled. “I thought I could be back at the cabin before you woke up. I thought I could talk to Wendy and make her understand, and then you wouldn’t have to be bothered with yet another family problem thanks to me and my fucked-up relatives.”

  “Language, Lucy,” he warned lightly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her near. She molded herself onto him, her head resting below his chin. “So do you think Wendy understands?”

  “Yes. At least better than I expected. She thinks I’m a little strange for wanting you to spank me, and I think she’s convinced herself it’s just an exaggerated kink I have, even though I told her it wasn’t exactly sexual. That blew her mind. But she promised to keep it a secret and mind her business from now on. She even apologized for reading the letters.”

  “I’m glad one of our problems is resolved then.” Determination tinged his words, and Lucy must have sensed it. She froze, holding her breath for a few moments before finally exhaling.

  “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

  “Big trouble. You have a serious punishment coming, young lady.”

  “Will it be now?”

  “No. We’re going back to the cabin, Lucy. We still have a week and a half of vacation left, and I intend to spend it with you, alone. I think by the time we get back there, I’ll be calm enough to discipline you.”

  “All right.” She paused. “How will you get the truck you borrowed from Tom Branson back to him?”

  “We’ll leave it at his daughter’s house in town. He let me borrow an old truck he was getting ready to sell, so he says he’s happy to have it off the mountain.”